Thursday, July 25, 2013

I was fifteen ~ Blog Challenge Day 25

Five years ago, I was a middle school student.
 It was the year I had my PMR. I was busy, trying to get the best in exam. I was busy, thinking of the next year. Should I stay in the same school or should I try applying to another school? I was very sure that I'm going to be what I dreamed off. 

Five years ago, I didn't have a lot of friend to go to when I have problems.
 Not sure I had one because I was the one who were always absent when it comes to gathering outside school. You see, my parents didn't allow me to go out like the other kids. I was always at home. And I didn't have facebook yet. Bet all of you had already forgotten friendster. I was on it all the time but it didn't connect me enough with the other. Lady Gaga's song used to be my background song for it. I myself, was shocked when I recall back. 

Five years ago, I was deeply in love with this one boy. 
Not sure if at that time, it was love, though. I had never told him what I really felt. I suddenly stopped talking to him the year before. Not sure if the other classmate noticed but I was still liking him. I heard many bad things about him but I didn't care, and I kept my feeling to myself. Our school has a habit of changing your class each year if you didn't score enough in exam. So he was separated from the class I was in. I felt down for a few days, knowing that I won't be able to look at him during class anymore. 
Sigh, typical middle school student always have this kind of memory.

Five years ago, I was a girl with no confidence at all.
 I guess nothing changed about that, I still doubt every steps I'm taking. I'm still afraid to do what I really want to do. I'm still afraid to do things in my own way. 

but...
Maybe, maybe my pace is just a little slow than the other. I looked back and I am actually surprised at the things that I never thought I would do. Five years ago, I have never pictured myself being in this place. I didn't even knew that this place exist. I have never pictured myself doing what I'm doing right now. Somehow I leave the rest to the wind, let it take me to where I deserve. And that's how I reach this place I'm studying in right now. 
But I'm sure it wasn't just the wind, I believe that He blew the wind. 

Five years ago, I was fifteen.
 I was a student, studying not only subjects at school, but also life. And I learn more as I get older. There's more to come, and I hope that I can be a better version of myself.

3 comments:

b0m^2 said...

:3

Claire said...

apa makna kau tu? haha

b0m^2 said...

he3 teda... senyum jk tu