Sunday, July 31, 2011

It's not my fault

Sorry because I have to say I don't know
Sorry because I have to say I never heard of it
Sorry because I have to say I never tried it
Sorry because I have to say go on, I'll just watch
For I got used to it since my childhood
For that were the words I often say since my younger age
For I'm not not the kind of girl who were accepted within her friends
That made a girl in my own world
I have my own imagination before I go to sleep
Sometimes imagined that next day they'll come and ask me to play
Then I'll sleep with a smile
But the next day
They do not even realize that I was there
And I keep on living in my imagination
When I say I don't know
You say that I'm a city girl
Tell you what
The place I lived wasn't even a city
It's a small town
How easy for you to throw that words at me
It hurt can't you see it from my face?
Oh I forgot...
I've got too used at that kinda words
My face give no expressions anymore
My tears are now stubborn
My eyes tired of crying
It's not my fault
And I won't say it's yours or hers or them
It's not my fault!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

He is ours

It was dark outside
She was still talking to her friend
A long time no see friend
I was there pretending wasn't listening
Then they started talking about the family
suddenly they talked about something
At that time
I wish that I really didn't hear anything
I try a poker face
Seems like it worked
She didn't ask me anything
Maybe she thought that I understand
Yes, I understand
My feeling was indescribable
His faces since he was a toddler until he is a big boy
Filled my heart
How I really like to see him every holiday
How I like to hear about him from his sister
Always tickle our heart 
Whenever he is smiling
I tried 
I tried to forget what I heard
But I'll never forget this one
Yet, there's something that I'm sure
He is ours
I remember him since the first time my brain was able to keep memories
He, with him red lips
Running to the car
Chasing for his mummy
I was laughing
He was so cute
And now he is so handsome
He is ours 
We are the ones who loved him since he was little
We've been with him when he was growing up
We'll always be with him
He is ours
No one can ever take him from us
He is ours

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

To you...I'm sorry

Your eyes were red
Your voice were shaking
Your body was inconsistent
And they stand and throw words at you
Some relevant
Some do not
I was there just looking
Afraid of saying something
Remembering the days you were talking about

That what I wanted to say
But my mouth was locked
And my hands were weak
I saw that you were angry
Yet I didn't do anything
I isolated myself from everything
For I also reached my limit
For didn't do anything on it

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

I'm just boring

please excuse me for the language

Today is kinda a boring or simply another day. Harap2 lepas first meeting untuk koir karang terus ada pelangi! yay! oops, bukan bermaksud saya mengharapkan hujan ya  >.<! I just hope that my day will be enlighten by that choir thingy! Yesh, nasib ada koir d sini, first time lagi ni ada, ngehehehe! Saya tau banyak ni latihan nanti, kalau kena suruh diet untuk jaga suara, matai.....babai kepada minuman yang ada ping di belakangnya. Tapi ok juga ba tu kan, kalau sanggup segalanya boleh dibuat. Setakat yang termampulah kan....

Just a few minutes ago, Miss Caroline just said, 'When you have your allowance you girls have to invest some money in make-up'....and I was like :p.....I expected that.  Ok, Ok, I will try try try try....BIG SMILE :)
Ya laa, jadi cikgu mesti kena kena nampak attractive...kan? Miss Caroline just said that  :p

This evening, planning to bersukan! Tapi mungkin saya hanya akan stay di siring gelanggang netball dan berlompat - lompat menggunakan tali untuk berskipping. Tingulah kalau saya rajin p belajar main. Macam malas pula, mau ikut archery juga, tak sabar nak tengok demo sabtu ni... jangan la ba terlampau banyak ikut aktiviti ba kan. Sukan lain boleh pelan pelan belajar ba kan, nanti nda siap pula task and assignment yang datang bagaikan hujan kucing dan anjing. <--sorry for the direct translate :p

Apa lagi mau ditaip ni, erm....ok.....

P/s to Sayrah
Tengoklah kalau ada yang ngam, confirm 40? besar juga!
haha, bukan kasut pun boleh ba kan....pandailah saya cari tu

Ok lah, cukup sdh berblog untuk hari ni. teda2 juga yang tulis. Buruk btul bahasa saya kali ini, siou no kopio. BIGSMILE!  :) 

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

It was Teary

Chatting with the first one
And this time it was ok
No awkwardness
Just like six years ago
It was a sigh of relief
We finally broke the ices
That suddenly built up between us
And that seems too high and thick to be broken
But we made it...finally
And to be honest with him
Was something that I wanted for a long time
It was teary
To remember all conversations we had
To remember how the other classmates look at us
To remember how the ices formed
To remember the vanished letter
To remember how I smile with him in my mind, trying to sleep
To remember how sometimes I get exited to go to school because of him
To remember how I used to look at the basketball court every time we passed school, trying to look for him in his red t shirt
How I wish I can go back in time to fix the things that happened between us
Thanks God
For come cleaning us this very early in the morning

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I haven't declare it as love yet

Yes, I am being too careful
After the breaks up I've seen
After the experiences I experienced
After the nights of tears that I've gone through
As I sing myself to sleep at night
I can't help myself but to remember them
The guys I thought I've fallen in love with
I just realized that it was not that kind of love
I realized that it was just a crush
A big crush
And admire
But they're still in my heart
I shall never forget who I have fallen in love with
The first one
Though we never been together, I believe that our heart did
And the crushes
They made my life sweeter
Even though they may have no idea about it
Maybe this is my strength
I've hold my words that I made that evening
It was raining and I promised myself
To never be in relationship before I finish school
Yes, I finished school on 13th December 2011
The day I finished my last SPM paper
I was teary
I've got too used to school life
The homework
The scolding
The friends
The place I've experienced my first love
I know that I am going through the same process
But this time I have experiences
Maybe they're still not enough
But I know this time I have friends who are willing to give their advises
And support me in whatever I do
Maybe this time
It's just another crush too
So I'll just wait see

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

RE:RE:RE:RE: THE UNSPOKEN ~ 1. This Feeling that I'm loving, Yet the after that I'm scared of

Done your homework, eh? Ha, I know you're gonna say like that! And I agree about the A.C.C.U.T.E part! I'm always annoyed by that. So geli to see, kan! huahaha, as long as they don't do the duck face.

Well, is he the one I'm crushing on? No, not him. But he I do like him playing the guitar!He played more than words, omg! Very fascinating! hee hee
He's more like a brother to me...cheh, I mean more like a younger brother.
One of the things here that I really like is, we are all interested in music!

what we use to get to St. Paul

We went to St. Paul in Balung recently. Whoa I really like the route! We pass through the oil palm factory and palm orchad! And the road was grabel...hahahaha. I really like that! ngahehehehe, I think there're only two persons who like the palm smell. hehehe...EPIC <---my friend said that.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

She didn't want the ride to end

He was sitting there with her by his side
And smile when his friends start to ask about them
It didn't look like serious but when it comes to heart matter
The explanation will be so hard
Maybe he know
Maybe he don't
But how will she know
She is afraid to let the question out
Maybe she should just forget about it
Let everything happen naturally
Let the jealousy be an accessory of her heart
It might be good to have it
Because it shows that you love
But when he doesn't even know
It becomes ridiculous

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Re:Re:This feeling that I'm loving, Yet the after that I'm scared of

Found is fb? Do your comparison then. Huahaha!
I'll let it happen naturally...Whose that guy's name?  The nature guy? Still stuck like glue eh? How come o! Wait, you mean the guy whose name start from the 18th letter of the basic modern Latin alphabet? 
I won't watch that mv, youtube forbidden here =.=...and because I can expect how's the video look like. eww! 

Dunno what else to say, since I don't think I want to write all of the details here...So tunggulah hari raya kio! Huahahaha! 
But I gotta tell you something, we are very one Malaysia here! And sometime I feel like we're here to learn how to teach bahasa, (so baku ba our language!) And one of most fun part here is, when it comes to literature everyone's exited about it! Go and read 'what lips my lips have kissed' by Edna St. Vincent Millay. You'll like or you'll dislike it. 

Thursday, July 7, 2011

No title

In class and in the mood of writing blog

No lecturer...again
Means = replacements

p/s to Sayrah!
 Got cutie-pie? I know who you're talking about! >.<
Later we story story on that K. Do check out his pictures in fb and compare them to Randall.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

This feeling that I'm loving, Yet the after that I'm scared of

Sometimes I hate my myself for falling in love easily
Though now I don't call it love yet
It may be develop into it
Maybe this is just a crush
But even a crush can last for a very long time
Maybe it will never fade
As I still can't forget the boys I've crushed on seriously
As long as I can remember
I've only fallen in love once
I did manage to faden my feeling towards him
But like people always say
First love is unforgettable
Always scared about the after
Regrets, Tears, Shyness and maybe Hatred
Lucky for me to didn't have the hatred
But it was painful to remember
As it comes before I sleep
Sometimes in my dreams
Sometimes when the teacher is teaching
Sometimes when I'm watching a movie
Sometimes when I'm chatting with my girlfriends
Sometimes when I'm chatting with my guyfriends
I did imagined them as the one I fell in love with
And I know it's not fair
But I didn't even realized that my heart did that
Till now I still question myself what are my feelings for what had happened
Most of my friends are happy with their special someone
I'm not wanting to be like them
But as a girl of course I want to be loved
I'm a girl who always remember what her daddy said
Maybe I'm too naive to make my own conclusion
A conclusion that say it's better for me to care for my own self
My daddy did say that I will found someone that I'll love
And that made my heart weaken
Not that I don't want to fall in love or what
It is how I'm going to be open with him about this matter
Sometimes I asked myself
Why do I have a lot of thinking to just fall in love
I answered myself sometimes
I don't want to fall in love for fun
I want to stay with the one I love forever
Now I'm going into this feeling again
The feeling I thought I'll never be able to experience again
I love this feeling
Yet I'm scared of the after
The three biggest break ups that I've seen
I don't think that I can go through it
But how do I know
I'm such a loser in relationship thingy
Pissed me off sometimes
But I learned to accept this fact
Maybe now I should learn how to overcome it
Just hope that this time I can go through it better


Class cancelled from some reasons. So there'll be a lot of class replacement later....bla bla bla
too much activities. Well.....
Blogging during class, quite dangerous but I take risk. Eh?