Thursday, May 25, 2017

The road looked suddenly familiar tonight.
When I lived in the corner room, I can always see the junction. It looked the same tonight. 

In this darkness, in almost felt the same.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Wednesday, May 10, 2017


I can't be the only one who dread as I reach another milestone. 
As a child I thought about all the things I'll do when I'm finally an adult with my own money and when I'm granted responsibility for my own life. However, as I grew up and the curtains drew one by one, I, we, began to see life in new lights from new perspectives. 
and the truth is
...the truth is we welcome adulthood with tears.
tears of sorrow instead of happiness for everything that we're leaving behind in order to walk into our future.
 It took me 20 years to realize the truth I already knew

Sunday, April 30, 2017

I haven't write anything for a long time.
 Not that there's anything I have to say anyway.
 If I happen to be writing anything at all (which I did), it weren't complete. 
I'm not not okay with it. I welcome the break. 
I have to say though,  that it's both a blessing and curse to not write. I don't have to pick what I want to remember, but I thought of the gem expiring before I even want to look at it. 

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Something that bothers me....

This is something that I need to write, to let it off my chest and to make other people think.

I hate it when people say well I guess hate is a strong word
" What are you worrying for, you have parents who can provide you. They're both working."

You know, the town where I live is not a big town, but it is not small enough for us to avoid paying for gas, water, electricity and etc. I have four sisters and they're studying across the sea.
I'm lucky, indeed, because I'm provided with allowance. My sisters however have to depend solely on my parents. Their living expenses are even higher than mine.
I receive my allowance. I can try to minimize my use of money, and I can even pick the cheapest route to go home, by bus. My sisters have no other choices, they need to get on the plane to get home.
Students know how hard it is to maintain a sane lifestyle with limited amount of money. So don't you dare say that I don't need to worry.
I am not the only child to be fed.
Maybe, maybe people just don't understand that I'm trying to learn managing my money from now on. I'm trying to create a balance in my wants and my needs. If it still work and it doesn't cause me any problem, then why should I get a new one?

Unless I'm starving myself to death, you shouldn't be saying things like that to me.
I eat, a lot more than you think.

Wednesday, August 31, 2016


For the first time, I didn't feel too bad about changing my path. After all, I should leave the job to those who actually care.


Monday, May 16, 2016


I have not been a morning person for a while. In fact I have never been a serious morning person. I wake up early when my body knows that I need to, but on holidays my morning's when the sun is at its peak. Six am is the earliest I can set my body during the holiday. 
The pictures in this post were taken from the roof top of the Holy Trinity Church's new building. It was such a beautiful sunrise that I question myself why am I holding a camera on a great morning instead of enjoying it? But I guess, I'm learning how to enjoy things while capturing them. The experience itself was amazing. I was amazed that I woke up just in time for the sunrise!
I just noticed that the picture up there is a little slanted. Oh well. Let's that be a reminder for me to practice more. 
The place where I took this picture will be the highest point of the Sabah Youth Day 4 venue which is, Holy Trinity Church, Tawau. The participants might not be able to see this view as we can't go to the rooftop unless we are the main organizer but I hope that people can see why some of us chose to be part of the team behind the preparation. We might not do much, we might not understand well, but we did it sincerely. 
The last SYD gave me a great experience, and I hope this coming SYD will be a memorable experience for all of us.