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        Back then, I thought I would be delighted to find my old notebooks and exam papers. Not so much on the exam paper but back then I thought I'd like to see it again. 

Who knew I'll be hesitating to even touch and open them now. 

Back then, I thought spilling every thoughts on the papers would help me see what kind of person I was back then.

However, I forgot that people change; I changed, inevitably, and I changed into someone who keep looking back without acknowledging what I went through. 

There are too many parts I wish to erase from my memory together. If my life could be described as one long roads that leads me to where I am no, I'd go back to dim or maybe break the lights at the parts I no longer want to see.

But then, if by God's grace I'll be able to walk some more, when I look back, what would I feel when I see those dark patches. Will I be able to handle the what ifs?