Thursday, November 21, 2013


Well, here I am now in this space. Before the holiday started I made up my mind to write something 
straight after coming back but seemed like I took more time to recover from the long journey. 

As I predicted the year before, it's tougher this year. I was busy making memories with the graduating seniors. Correction, they're more like brothers and sisters to me, to us. I can't imagine how our journey will be next year but I don't want to think about that yet. 

Journey home this year was a lot better than the two rides I had before. It was calm I'd say. But I was awaken at one point. Then I thought of some faces, and that was when the reality really hit me. It felt as if those faces were grabbed away from my sight, and I found myself holding my breath. I guess that's how I really feel all of this time, and that made it hard for me to show it. So I looked out at the sky. The colour were blue, and little bit of orange. Both in a kind of shade that I couldn't describe. Let us just say that they fit each other well? Well, they always did and will always do anyway. Before I forget to mention it, I think they are beautiful. 

If you ask me what I feel right now, I'd say that I'm glad that I'm home right now. But to be very honest, I don't know what I really feel deep deep inside. I know that I'm happy, that I feel better, but nothing solid. I'm also delighted in another way. Of something. Of someone.
This holiday, I think I'm gonna spent hours, days with novels and notebooks and crochets. A mug of hot chocolate or some kind of coffee that won't make me caffeinated too much will make them a good combination. And I hope that I will be showered with ideas and fingers crossed that they come with the enthusiasm to make them a reality. 

I think that is all for this entry and I wish everyone a happy holiday ^^

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

I'll always miss you

I've seen him at his worst two years ago, when my aunt, his daughter died.
He didn't talk much, but I saw it in his eyes.
I know that he held the most pain, but he had always welcome us
I’ll always remember the way his wrinkled hand felt on my palm.
And now he’s gone too, buried next to his children.
How I wish that I could be there right now,
to let him feel the warmth while he’s still in the house.
How I wish that I could be there right now,
to be with the other.
I know that we’ll smile to each other,
because we are not very good in showing the other side of us.
But isn't that what it’s all about?
To be strong for each other.
I remember how two years ago I was immediately broken as soon as I came back to this place.
This time, I have to stay here.
Unable to give my last respect
He had gone through a lot,
and now he can finally have his rest.
If the heat I feel all around me right now is you hugging me,
then I don’t want you to ever let me go.
Rest in peace, grandpa

I miss you