Monday, October 8, 2012

at the moment...

*Someone is offering foods in the class* Look a them* Not in the mood*
This might be my last entry before the coming examination. I know I'm not blogging often enough to write like this. 

So exam is finally around the corner. I try to deny it but deep inside I know that the drum is beating the wall of anticipation in my heart. Too much things happened the way it shouldn't, at least I think like that, because it's me who think of what should have happened in my eyes and in my surrounding. 

It is very hard to find my spirit back. I've lost it. I know I have to get back on track. I've tried and I'm still trying. Sometimes I see the path, sometimes I lost again. If I want to succeed, I must stay on the track. 

Maybe I should stay away from people, because that's how I studied back then. Maybe I should sleep all day and study all night, because that's my favourite way of doing my revision. I tried it here, but it's different. At home, there will be no sounds between midnight to dawn. At here, sharing room with stranger, I have to act like I don't mind. I know that there is a proper term for that, but till now I still can't accept that fact completely. There will be sound in the middle of the night, stranger communicating with her friend, yet another stranger to me. How disturbing. Disturbing! 

I know that I have to ignore this, get into myself, and care all about myself. Do the things the way I should. And that's what I am trying to do right now. 

I've been thinking about strategies, and maybe I've found some. Still it's still seem blurry to my eyes. My brain is still not accepting. And I'm sure that these cheeks will be wet, I don't know how bad but now it feels as if it's coming out anytime.

I can't help but keep wishing that things will turn out good. Keep wishing that somehow along the path someone will pull me and walk with me on the track, with it's hand guiding me. 

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