not so random

I care about my feeling. Yes, I do. Who doesn't? I have tried to treat everyone the way I want them to treat me but sometimes the patience blows up. I really hate when I am treated that way. It hurt.I may not show  it but only because I am afraid I might hurt that person. I am not perfect, and sometimes I did violate my stand.
It's like my subsconcius is recording each time I am treated like that. Spreading it somewhere inside my mind that I thought I might have forgotten it. The record sometimes play by itself when I'm with that person. That person should have recognized it, and come to realization that I won't be treating you like that if you hadn't done it first. I am really really sorry for writing something like this but I've been holding this for quite some times.
I care about my feeling. I really really do. As the first among my siblings, I demand respect from everyone. I have just realized that this year. The respect that I want not to be called sister or looked by someone to ask for permissions or advice. I just want to be treated well. I believe that that person doesn't want to treated in a bad way, me too but my patience has a limit. I don't care how well or how spoiled that person is, what I know is I want to be respected. I will respect that person if that person respect me, and if that person don't respect me back I will still respect that person. But I will still demand it.
Just please, treat other person the way you want to be treated. If that person is going fine with you all this time and then suddenly there's something wrong with them, ask yourself before asking them what went wrong with them. You could be the reason!

I've stopped but I'm not sure if this the place I want to land on

Somehow I still feel like a lost butterfly

I've entered a place I've never think of getting into

This place where I often have those feelings that I hate

This place that won't let me go. 

I've known this place by name

and little bit inside from what I've been exposed by my father

But he never tell me the truth about this place

and I never care for I never thought I'll end up here.

Sometimes the other side of my heart wonder

What if I waited just a little bit longer?

I could have gone for another place

Another life, another dream.....

I do love what I'm currently doing

I love the extra activities because those are the choices that I made

But do they worth because they're not the major thing?

I'm learning something that I like but I desire to learn that one thing that I love.