I found something last night~

Last night, before I sleep,

I talked to God, about you,

I said that I missed you all day,

You were out of sight,

And that I hope you’re doing well.

How many days do I have to go through

Before I can see you come to me?

Holiday never felt this long,

I’m willing to come back as long as you’re right there too.

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I found this in my notebook while I was looking for something. I don’t remember what I was writing for. It seems incomplete. I found it the way it is typed here. I don’t remember if I was writing for someone or was I inspired in the midst of nothingness at that time. No date and venue written, and to think that I’m looking for them in my own notebook, oh. I don’t even remember if I wrote them during the holiday. However, I’m hooked to this again. As if I rediscover my own emotion. It feels, good? It rarely feels so, so I think I’ll just have to write about this. So that when I rediscover this again in the future, I’ll know that I felt good about it, and I should feel the same way again. Maybe I know the truth behind this but I prefer not to be clear about this. Yet.

... and here I go again

I hope that we'll meet accidentally in the airport, accidentally have the same flight, and accidentally sit next to each other. You'll be mine until it is time for the plane to land. 

So that I may realize once again that it wrong to hope for you, so I might remember why did I do what I did.

Blame him, blame the songs, blame the movies, blame the surrounding, blame everything for reminding me about you.

Random New Year

It's New Year. Happy New Year! Hope you had a good celebration. Mine was made a day earlier due to a few things. So on the 31st we went to church which I think a good start for the new year.

I'm back in campus and I don't feel good yet. But today is so much better than the first day. It was hard to accept the fact that I was leaving on new year. If I could postpone the date I would've. Oh well. At least things are doing well for me.

I think I lost myself these few days. Things suddenly felt too hard for me. Things were doing fine that nothing can stop me from coming a little later to this place. I lost my writing mood, I lost my appetite, and I think I lost my sanity too.

Right now I'm having instant noodle. I'm not craving. I think my appetite is coming back but I also think that this is due to homesickness. Talking about food, I really need to watch what I eat. I have to lose the extra number I gained during the holiday. Mehh...I ate what I wanted at home and here I have to be really careful.

I kinda feeling bad because my roommate had an accident so she's not coming until next week. I feel bad because I enjoy having the room for me alone. I feel so free. I can act as crazy as I want and let my tension burst out whenever I want. It just feel so good. I'm sorry roommate.

To tell you the truth, I don't really know what I'm writing. I just feel like I should write and now is the time for it. So I think I should end this here. Happy New Year and wish you'll have a good year.

If only you are here

If only you are here

If only I was brave

If only I you believed it sooner

If only distance didn't interfere

Despite that one thing that kept me quiet 

We can be perfect without being together

now we don't even know how each other doing