If she's reading(I know it's impossible but I wanted to say this)
She explained to me how I felt during schools.
The story is about this girl named Lee Fiora. She applied to this boarding school called Ault and was accepted. At first she thought she won't be going but the very next day she was offered a scholarship. So went anyway. Why wouldn't I go if I'd worked so hard for that application? She told herself, though I'm not sure whether it was the words because I couldn't remember it. But I'm sure that's what she meant.
Notice I wrote schools instead of high school? Well, this story stater when Lee Fiora attended Ault. To my understanding she began to feel all that she wrote during highschool. I felt the way she wrote in the book starting my first year in primary school. I truly believe that what Lee Fiora felt was what I'd felt. I almost relate all that feeling with my own.
She wrote about friends.
Have you ever thought that that person you never talked to though you knew her name will be your bestfriend? that question came to me after I read about this.
Lee Fiora thought that she will never have a bestfriend there; because it was almost one year and she was still not close to everyone. Even her roommate. She became close to this one girl before, and after a while she found that the girl was the one who caused the mess in their dorm. She was the thief who steal from her roommate, Dede. She can see that though Dede came from a rich family like almost everyone at Ault, she's still concern about the theft. After Lee Fiora caught to the girl while she was going out of her room, she reported it to their dorm head. The girl was expelled after that. Then she felt like no one again.
Then she became close to Conchita, a spanish girl. After a while they became a little close. Lee Fiora even taught her how to ride a bike. Through Conchita she began to talk to Martha, a classmate she never talked to (Lee never talked to Conchita before too, and most of her classmates) That moments she realized that she was wrong about Martha, she could be friends with her. They then decide to room together for the coming year. Conchita was upset. She suggested that the three of them will room together but Lee and Martha thought of another thing. It was kind of the end of Lee's and Conchita's friendship because after that Sittenfeld never write anything about them anymore. Martha became her bestfriend and roommate until the finished their study at Ault.
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There are a lot of things but friendship part was the part that really touched me as it was my problem as soon as I started school. All the things you can't agree with everyone else, all your thoughts about them, all the things you thought necessary to be anybody's friend...etc.
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The love life expressed by Sittenfeld also captured my emotion. How you suddenly have a crush to this someone and never talked about it but to your best friend. You know that that person will never love you back yet you still keep the feeling. You even have another name for him. The one you use as an alternative to his name when talking about him in public witch your best friend. I remembered how it happened to me after I read that Lee Fiora did that. There were more, I just can't express it through words...
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My favourite line was,
how refusal become a part of me...( I don't remember the exact line but this sound somehow like it)
It touched me. I stopped for a while and did a flashback. Yeah, I've been refusing a lot and live in my own world. Though it was with anyone else, it still my own. I remember how I took a long time to break the ice. Though I talked to her, sometimes we laugh together and more...I still had the uneasy feelings towards her. To my surprise, it was easy to be her friends. As long as I open my heart, I can accept her. It didn't happened a lot though, I mean the hard to break the ice part. And when my friends have an outing together, I often said to myself no. Though I know that I can actually go for it if I do that one things I never really try to do.
I seriously love this book! It's like reading my life. When I finished this book I felt a huge load in my chest. My breath was taken by the Sittenfeld. It's like, I learning who I am and who I was. Seriously, that book is amazing and words can't describe how I feel. Even my sister said I was so addicted to that book. I don't really know what else to say. Go read it by yourself, you'll find more of the Lee Fiora's life that I didn't mention here.
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| I'm in love with this book forever |
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