She asked me do I know him
I said no but I think I do
She search for his facebook and we saw his pictures
I was like "oh, him. I always see him at church"
Then she told me he had an accident
I thought that only an accident
In my mind, my imagination maybe
he's in the hospital being treated
but then I was post
may his soul rest peace
I ran to her and asked, he's death?
She looked at me and said yes
In my heart, I feel something different
I only know him as someone I used to pass by at church
but i....I don't what else should I say
I write here, because I can't seem to let it out by speaking or crying
May his soul rest in peace, May he got his place in heaven...
Amen...
condolences to his family and friends...
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Break up
That day when I saw a comment of a picture in facebook, I know something was going to happen. A picture of girl, wearing a graduation gown standing next to her guy friend, wearing a look alike graduation gown. Even before that, I've sensed something from the posts and comments. I started to observe him, whenever I can, without him knowing I'm around. The guy who owned the heart of the girl in the picture. I cleared my mind, try to not thinking about them. It's none of my business! But I figured out that it won't be wrong to just think about it, the girl is also my cousin anyway. Though she's way older than me, we get along well.
I was in primary school when I first saw him, I hadn't had any thought of him yet. I was in my very own world. I know him better when I started secondary school. It was because, that was the time when he started to be around her all the time when they came to Keningau during holiday. I didn't remember what was my feeling. Was I jealous my cousin was not mind all the time anymore, or was I happy because she brought a new family member. Every Christmas, when my cousin and her sisters came, he''l be with them. When we were cooking for Christmas dinner, he'll be helping to fry the chicken wings. Everything, seems okay. I almost look up to him. And it actually took years for only the "almost". But I always remember what my friend have told me, he may look nice, act kindly, and do everything good, but you'll never know what he's truly are inside. She's right!
Then one day, I logged in to facebook. Saw this long post my cousin posted. The first thing I thought was, so it really happen? I read it. I think I saw his post to too but I just took a glance on it. I've read my cousin's so I don't need to know about more from the other side. What did I do? Nothing, I read it again then started to do what I needed to do in facebook. I talked nothing about. After a few days, or was it weeks?, my sister woke me up late at night, to read my cousin's message, with my sleepy face, I tell her that I've known it and went back to sleep. I took only few seconds to fall asleep, but in that very little moments, I still manage to say something to myself. So, they finally know it. Without me having to tell them about that post.
Life goes on. I never talked about it unless my sister said something. Time by time, my cousins opened up little by little. She told us what she was heart ache for. And we the other cousins, started to gain strength to tell her what actually we've been thinking about him. She seems to be agree with us. Even my cousins, who never really talked about him got mad when she told us what was the ex's comments about.... I was calm when we were talking but inside of me, there were a of thing I were thinking.
Early of this month, my cousin, the sister of my "cousin" I've talked about in the previous paragraph, broke up with her boyfriend. When I know that, I was thinking that maybe that was the the reason I've never been able to think of something to fix the song I've been writing for her. And even before that, I felt uneasy about them. I keep hoping that they're fine.
Recently in facebook, this girl start to post more than before about her feeling. There we're days when this guy updated his status so often. It was weird because he had lazy to update his status. Then I started to realize that their post post kind of relate to each other's. That was time time I realized that they have problem. He just confessed it an hour ago, before I started to write this blog. It was one of the reasons I decided to let these all out in this blog.
It's their problem right? But I can't help thinking about it! It keep me from doing one thing. It kept from thinking about being in relationship. It keep make me feel like life is better without someone else. When I start to have crush on someone, all these things will attack my mind. I'll still be crushing, but I'll never do anything about it.
The word break up
is very strong to me.
Even if I'm not the one whose being in it, I'll still be affected by it.
I hope that I will be strong
When the day I finally decide to be in relationship
I hope that I'll be able to face anything....
I was in primary school when I first saw him, I hadn't had any thought of him yet. I was in my very own world. I know him better when I started secondary school. It was because, that was the time when he started to be around her all the time when they came to Keningau during holiday. I didn't remember what was my feeling. Was I jealous my cousin was not mind all the time anymore, or was I happy because she brought a new family member. Every Christmas, when my cousin and her sisters came, he''l be with them. When we were cooking for Christmas dinner, he'll be helping to fry the chicken wings. Everything, seems okay. I almost look up to him. And it actually took years for only the "almost". But I always remember what my friend have told me, he may look nice, act kindly, and do everything good, but you'll never know what he's truly are inside. She's right!
Then one day, I logged in to facebook. Saw this long post my cousin posted. The first thing I thought was, so it really happen? I read it. I think I saw his post to too but I just took a glance on it. I've read my cousin's so I don't need to know about more from the other side. What did I do? Nothing, I read it again then started to do what I needed to do in facebook. I talked nothing about. After a few days, or was it weeks?, my sister woke me up late at night, to read my cousin's message, with my sleepy face, I tell her that I've known it and went back to sleep. I took only few seconds to fall asleep, but in that very little moments, I still manage to say something to myself. So, they finally know it. Without me having to tell them about that post.
Life goes on. I never talked about it unless my sister said something. Time by time, my cousins opened up little by little. She told us what she was heart ache for. And we the other cousins, started to gain strength to tell her what actually we've been thinking about him. She seems to be agree with us. Even my cousins, who never really talked about him got mad when she told us what was the ex's comments about.... I was calm when we were talking but inside of me, there were a of thing I were thinking.
Early of this month, my cousin, the sister of my "cousin" I've talked about in the previous paragraph, broke up with her boyfriend. When I know that, I was thinking that maybe that was the the reason I've never been able to think of something to fix the song I've been writing for her. And even before that, I felt uneasy about them. I keep hoping that they're fine.
Recently in facebook, this girl start to post more than before about her feeling. There we're days when this guy updated his status so often. It was weird because he had lazy to update his status. Then I started to realize that their post post kind of relate to each other's. That was time time I realized that they have problem. He just confessed it an hour ago, before I started to write this blog. It was one of the reasons I decided to let these all out in this blog.
It's their problem right? But I can't help thinking about it! It keep me from doing one thing. It kept from thinking about being in relationship. It keep make me feel like life is better without someone else. When I start to have crush on someone, all these things will attack my mind. I'll still be crushing, but I'll never do anything about it.
The word break up
is very strong to me.
Even if I'm not the one whose being in it, I'll still be affected by it.
I hope that I will be strong
When the day I finally decide to be in relationship
I hope that I'll be able to face anything....
Monday, May 23, 2011
Mandy's talk: Reality show
So this time I'll talk about reality shows.
I've seen people keep wanting to join AF. For me if you have talent, your voice is good, you have the package, why not? But one thing that always annoys me, if they fail to get in they'll be too upset as if they don't have reason to live anymore! I think it's still okay here but I've seen in other places where people expressed their disappointment in negative way. Hey, you think by throwing those rude words the judges will call you back in and declare you as a participant? No! You're warning other people that you're not someone to be friend with. (sorry, I think I'm so in this)
Furthermore, you don't need that to show your talent! Be creative! There's youtube, blog, facebook! And you need to figure out what your talent meant to be done with. Sometimes talent are made to be shared with the world and sometimes it meant to stay with you. I mean like, to share with your family and friends.
Think about it.
I think that is all I can say for now. Feels good to finally let them out.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
I have a smile on my face! :)
I'm still happy with the result! Yes I got it!
Hohoho, I'm still exited!
So, I already start the preparation. I'll only leave next month but the preparation is a lot of work. Need to get MC and everything. Wow, I never thought I'll need that!
Nampaknya tidaklah saya join dua orang kazen saya di matrix.
Kepada Nado and Clarence, goodluck ok! Wish you guys the best!
geez~ I always thought that you guys will be my bodyguard at Labuan. perasannyer!
sedih jugalah tidak sempat jalan-jalan sama kamurang, itu pula yang diingat.
So, yeah. I ada tugasan dari kazen I. wah! ber I I.
Going to make a song for her! And this is a second song.
Lagu yang pertama, okeylah for me. Saya memang tidak puas hati. Maybe it's deja vu. I tried to fix the song and I can't. They're not together anymore so that was it I thought. I can't seem to fix that song and maybe I will never fix it.
Jadi sekarang second song, her idea, my way!
Lol, I like that!
next blog will be about mau juga!
rasanya tentang Akademi Fantasia dan rancangan realiti tv lain yang lebih kurang serupa.
tiba-tiba nih! kan? I just think that I have this idea and people should know about it!
So wait for it!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Hmm, so where is my next destination?
Most of my friends already in form 6.
I'm still finger crossing for the upcoming result this Saturday. I really hope for it!
I'm not really exited to go to Labuan,lainlah kalau pg enjoy!
I think I can have heart attack anytime =.=
Well, when my friends go to form 6, I was a little jealous.
It's not about the things they're going study.
It's about being with them again. To be their classmate again. To feel how school life is again.
Anyway, God decide that I should take different path.
And I can always take sneak peek on what they're up to!
mari saya share satu video yang saya jumpa di satu blog.
saya tidak tau pun kumpulan Gula gula tu. Search la sendiri. Tapi video ini sangat menarik hati saya. Adalah benda yang boleh digunapakai kan?
Most of my friends already in form 6.
I'm still finger crossing for the upcoming result this Saturday. I really hope for it!
I'm not really exited to go to Labuan,
I think I can have heart attack anytime =.=
Well, when my friends go to form 6, I was a little jealous.
It's not about the things they're going study.
It's about being with them again. To be their classmate again. To feel how school life is again.
Anyway, God decide that I should take different path.
And I can always take sneak peek on what they're up to!
mari saya share satu video yang saya jumpa di satu blog.
saya tidak tau pun kumpulan Gula gula tu. Search la sendiri. Tapi video ini sangat menarik hati saya. Adalah benda yang boleh digunapakai kan?
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
busy with this and that
feels like I haven't blogging for ages!
Too busy and when I finally have times I'll be too tired. fuu....
Still waiting for reply from ....
Recently my cousins and we had a lot of fun!
Sampau saja Keningau trus plan mau jalan.
Go shopping with them! hehehe...
habis idea sudah saya...x tau lagi apa yang mau diblogkan. tunggu saya ada idea okey!
Too busy and when I finally have times I'll be too tired. fuu....
Still waiting for reply from ....
Recently my cousins and we had a lot of fun!
Sampau saja Keningau trus plan mau jalan.
Go shopping with them! hehehe...
habis idea sudah saya...x tau lagi apa yang mau diblogkan. tunggu saya ada idea okey!
Monday, May 9, 2011
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